Friday, July 06, 2007

Friday Fifteen -- 15 Ways...

Fifteen Perfectly Innocent Ways to Get Weird Hits From Google (or, Why My Blog is Rated R)

1. Write about my friend, Gay. How's it's great to be Gay… you should be proud to be Gay. Right? I adore Gay, she's a wonderful person.

2. The character Dick in the Faraway Tree series…

3. My lovely pussy cat, Breeann, the fattest, sweetest pussy cat in the whole world. (Did I really just say that?)

4. My character in Isn't She Liv Leigh who is trying to break a Guinness Book World Record -- any of them, possibly including blowing his nose for distance or spitting dead crickets and how many bras he can unhook in a minute. What kind of hits will I get for blowing boogers?

5. While talking to my friend, Judy, via IM the other day, she mentioned she needed to put on some clothes. Whoa! Was I talking to her naked? Nope… though she did say she was naked under her pajamas. Naked! Naked! And she despairs of her G rated blog...

I could discuss the titles of some of those Harlequins:

6. The Future King's Pregnant Mistress,

7. The Millionaire Boss's Baby,

8. The Spaniard's Blackmailed Bride,

9. The Sheik's Ransomed Bride,

10. the Greek Millionaires Mistress,

11. Bought for the Greek's bed…

12. And lastly, one that has a serious squick factor: The Forbidden Brother.

13. My husband is a neat freak. I mentioned this to my naked-under-her-clothes friend, Judy who then asked me if I knew what a clean desk was a sign of. I replied -- "A dirty mind?" LOL

14. So, my poor dog who just had cancer surgery is having a bad response to her pain medication: She's paranoid, spacey, jumpy, whiny and dying of thirst. It's so sad to see how she's reacting. I pointed to her and told my 8 y.o. DD that Bailey is a perfect example of why you say NO to drugs, even legal, prescription ones. Is my dog a drug addict? Will she go through DTs if I take her off cold turkey? What kind of strange Google searches will this generate?

15. I was dead tired last night. Still am. Feel like a zombie this morning. My dog still hasn't gotten the hang of sleeping through the night following her surgery for doggy breast cancer. Speaking of breasts, I'm the only one in my family who prefers breast meat to leg or thigh meat. Apparently my DH isn't a breast man, but a leg man...

I'm going to rerun that blog rating whoozie from the other day now -- any bets I move up from "R" to NC-17?

Happy Friday!


EDITED TO ADD: Sadly, it appears my efforts were in vain. I am still only rated "R". I'll have to strive even harder for an NC-17 rating. Do you suppose if I just make a list of objectional content that I'd never include on my blog, it would work.

Along the same lines, I saw this headline just a few moments ago: Company Advertises Unpaid Job as Condom Tester.

Will using "condom" on my blog help? Can I think up a good short story with a hero who applies for this position, and the female employer who checks to make certain he's... um... up for the job?


What Kind of Cult Movie are you?

You are a Fantasy film. You're romantic, passionate, and like outlandish clothing.
Take this quiz!

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anno said...

This cracked me up. At least now I know how you scored that sizzling NC-17 rating a week ago. Me, I'm strictly G rated, and obviously need to be doing something differently.

I hope Bailey recovers soon, and that everybody at your house feels like life is back to normal.

Csara said...

Oh that was funny! Thanks for the Friday morning laugh. :)

JennieBoo said...

I REALLY enjoyed this FF, today.

I'll have to come back and see the google hits you've gotten.


Happy Friday!

Michele said...

How do you figure your Google hits?
I'd LOVE to see what I'm rated...or maybe not.

LOVED those Harlequin titles..I think I might have read a few of those. *giggle*

#3 Cracked me up! It triggered memories of watching that British comedy "Are You Being Served?"
When Mrs. Sloacum always talked about per poor pussy..LOLOLOL
That always set me into a fit of giggles.

And the quiz? I haven't taken it yet, but I recognize that film anywhere, BEASTMASTER!! I thought that film was so cool!
Now? *VBG* way corny.
Still love it tho.

Tori Lennox said...

Great list!!! LOL!

Oh, another Are You Being Served? fan! Love that show. :)

And to nobody's surprise, I got Fantasy movie, too. *g*

Brandy said...

Loved how you're going to jump your rating to a NC-17! I got a PG rating when I ran it!

Dru said...

I'm a fantasy movie.

Did your rating jump to NC-17?

Tori Lennox said...

You need to add some violence. Talk about bombs, guns, and death. *g*

tinylittlelibrarian said...

That was hilarious! Thanks for the laugh. And for the quiz - I'm an obscure children's film, apparently.