Off (writing) Topic Rant

I happened to catch a little bit of Good Morning America today, and I'm still steamed about it. Diane interviewed a woman named Linda Hirschman who says that "privileged, educated women who choose to stay at home to raise their children are hurting themselves and others."

Here's a link to the story, if you're interested: How to Raise Kids: Stay Home or Go to Work?

Her arguments are:

1. How can women leave the workplace when the divorce rate is 41 percent? And don't women know that after divorce, the man's standard of living goes up 10 percent while the woman's can collapse?

2. It's difficult to re-enter the workplace after staying at home, and that when a mother comes back, she may make less money.

3. Working is also a matter of feeling fulfilled. She doesn't buy into the arguments of many homemakers who say taking care of the family is the most fulfilling thing they could imagine.

4. Women who leave the workplace are ensuring that the hard-won gains made by women will be undone. She asks why should business schools give advanced degrees to those who don't use them?

When I left the work place, four months pregnant with my daughter, I was managing the sales department of a large HMO. I made more money than my husband. My husband, however, got education and training to enable him to be a big enough wage earner so I could stay home with our child.

I love staying at home. I wouldn't trade it for the world. My daughter is a healthy, happy and well-adjusted girl who is continually complimented on her demeanor and maturity. She is six years old and schooling easily at a second grade level.

I have an at home Avon business where I set my own hours (I never work nights or weekends) and my daughter is able to help me and to accompany me when I drop off orders. I also write with the hope of being published one day (soon?).

This woman calls me unfulfilled and also suggests that I "take one for the team" and work in an office so that other women will have the chance to the do the same at some point. She also suggests that I should assume there is a very good chance my marriage will end in divorce, and with that in mind I may need to work to support myself again.

Excuse me while I take just a moment to cool down. (paces the room)

Staying home may not be for everyone. That's true. And I'm certainly not trying to judge those moms who choose to work outside the home. But I'd ask other women not to judge me, either.

Don't tell me I'm going to get divorced. I didn't get married to get divorced, and neither did my husband. Period. We've made it ten years, we can make it longer.

Don't tell me I'm not fulfilled. I LOVE being a mom. Raising my daughter is the most challenging and important thing I've ever done. That I ever will do. Nothing is more important than that. I realize I could put her into school and go back to work... but I really believe that homeschooling is the right thing for her. She doesn't need fancy clothes, a bigger house, cool vacations or an x-Box more than she needs her mom and an appropriate education.

And don't ever, EVER tell me I couldn't take care of myself if something should happen to my husband. I took care of myself comfortably for thirty years, and I could do it again. Period. I'm not stupid and I'm more than capable.

There are plenty of single and/or woman who are childless who can "take it for the team" and hold down high powered jobs. When I chose to become a mom, I chose to put my child first. That means sacrifice. But it doesn't mean being unhappy.

Man, I am still steamed...

Thanks for letting me rant. Tomorrow, I'll be all better. Promise.