Oh My... I loved this!
From Humorscope:
Capricorn
Everyone you work with will start spending a lot of time balancing things on their nose. This could be bad. You may have a renegade seal trainer lurking in your midst!
Just glad I'm not a Cancer.
Cancer
You will be followed by an evil-looking man in an old green Ford pickup truck. Surprisingly, it will turn out that following people is just his hobby, and you have nothing to worry about.
And now... I'm off to write the prompt story that lead me to this predictions. There's a wealth of ideas to work with on this site. Not to mention the ability to find out your super secret superhero identity.
Check it out.
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