Chivalry

How wonderful it is that nobody need wait a single moment before starting to improve the world. ~Anne Frank

My niece called from the road last night to let us know she and her boyfriend were on their way home from Washington, D.C. and their general ETA. She wouldn't be home until the wee hours of the morning, and it made me start thinking about the last time she was dropped off so late by her boyfriend. He took off out of the driveway before she even had the key in the door.

The next time I saw him, I suggested that, if he wasn't going to walk her to the door, he should at least make sure she got in safely. His response was pretty much, "I'm too tired, and I just want to get home."

When they left for D.C., she asked him to grab her bag (the biggest one) and she'd get her purse and little tote. He said "no".

Now, I'm making him out to be a jerk, and he isn't, but I do think he's a product of his raising and the current culture.

I expect respect. Especially from men. And, typically, I get that response.

My SIL, who is single and very capable, doesn't understand why the guys at Home Depot (or other like places) let her struggle with her big purchases when I've told her that I've even had guys walking by in the parking lot ask if I need help loading the bags of gravel into my truck. Keep in mind, I'm not a tiny, helpless looking person. I'm 5'9" and not frail.

I am not helpless, and if there were no guys around, I'd do it myself. I have done it myself for a long time. But it's nice to be taken care of.

I read a book, and I can't remember which one (maybe a Jenny Crusie?) where the guy keeps helping the heroine: opening her doors, helping her on with her coat... she comments "I don't know how I ever got that on without a man to help", and he just smiles and keeps doing it.

Good for him.

I looked for quotes on chivalry this morning, and found instead dozens of messages from guys who want to do things for the women in their lives: walk them to the door, open the car doors, etc., but are afraid of offending them. How sad is that?

While I'm all for things like equal pay for equal work, I'm still a woman. And I like men to remember that.

Last night, I was so tired I didn't wake up when my niece got home, so I don't know if her boyfriend waited this time, but I'm going to ask. Someone needs to teach the children how to behave.

Am I that different from everyone else?