One Word: YUCK

One of my characters is pursuing a Guiness World Record (I'm not saying which one, you'll have to read it when it's published), but in the course of my research, I came across some really disgusting records, and felt the need for you to be as grossed out as I am.

Furthest Marshmallow Nose-Blow
The farthest a marshmallow has been blown out of one nostril and caught in the mouth of a catcher is 4.96 m (16 ft 3.5 in), by launcher Scott Jeckel of Delavan, Illinois, USA, and catcher Ray Perisin of Peoria, Illinois, USA, on the set of Guinness World Records: Primetime in Los Angeles, California, USA on August 13, 1999.

Oh, ick. I don't know what's worse, the thought of how much it must hurt to blow a marshmallow out of your nose, or the thought of being the person on the other end who is, essentially, catching a giant booger.

Now here's some talent:

Farthest Spaghetti Nasal Ejection
Kevin Cole of Carlsbad, New Mexico, USA, holds the record for the longest spaghetti strand blown out of a nostril in a single blow. On December 16, 1998, Kevin successfully achieved a record distance of 19 cm (7.5 in) on the set of Guinness World Records: Primetime in Los Angeles, California, USA. Kevin first started practicing his nasal ejection with Ramon noodles and then progressed onto spaghetti. He has the ability to blow one end of the spaghetti out of one nostril, and the other end out of the other nostril for a "nasal floss" effect.

Gee... nasal floss... the next big marketing trend.

This next record caught my eye, mainly because I had no idea what a winkle was, and after all the nasal ejections, you can imagine where my brain was:

Fastest Winkle Picker
Dean Gould, of Felixstowe, Suffolk, England, picked 50 shells (with a straight pin) in 1 minute, 22.34 seconds at Great Eastern Square, Felixstowe, on October 10, 1997. Each winkle was extracted completely from its shell.

And, lest you think that I'm hung up on "nasal ejections", let me offer this up for your reading pleasure, everyone's ideal date:

Loudest Burp
People say Paul Hunn’s burps are as loud as a pneumatic drill, or an aircraft taking off. Paul, from London, UK, knows one thing’s for sure, his burps can certainly be heard over the music in a nightclub.

On April 5, 2000, to prove he’s the biggest belcher on earth, he competed live on British TV and blew away the opposition with a record-breaking burp measuring 118.1 decibels.

Have a nice day.