Wednesday, July 30, 2008

Welcome Guest Blogger: E. G. Parsons

Long Distance Romance

“That’s just gross. Will you turn that thing off and talk to me?”

I laughed at Barb’s irritation. “You’re the one who wanted to watch. I can’t just quit in the middle and leave the poor guy hanging.”

“Oh yes, you can.” Reaching over me, she grabbed the mouse and clicked off the IM box. “Now come on, get me some coffee.”

“Hey, why did you do that?” Swiveling the desk chair, I followed her to the kitchen and poured two mugs of steaming coffee.

Plopping down into one of my mismatched chairs, she sighed heavily. “Look, Lisa, since your divorce you’ve been spending entirely too much time in those chat rooms. I’m worried about you. Charlie Hobson was asking about you the other day and I…”

“No.”

“But he’s interested and he’s a real live flesh and blood guy.”

“No. I told you before, I don’t want you fixing me up. I’m not interested. Most of the men around here are just like my ex. They have the same mind set. Women should not have an opinion. They should be kept barefoot and pregnant.”

“Now you’re just being stubborn. Charlie isn’t like that. Besides I never said to marry him. Just go out and have some fun. You can’t possibly get anything out of all that typing.” Rolling her head back and breathing faster she spoke in a sexy voice and made typing motions with her hand. “UMMMMM…AHHHHH…Oh that feels so good. Oh yes…yes.”

“Stop it, you look ridiculous.” I couldn’t help laughing at her antics.

“Well, it is ridiculous. You’re an attractive, passionate woman. Why waste time on that crap when you could be having real sex with a real man?”

“What would you say if I told you I was meeting one of them?”

“ I’d say you’d lost what little sense I always thought you had.”

“Thanks.”

“Okay, sorry. Wait, you aren’t serious?” I avoided her eyes and turned to pour another cup of coffee.

Jumping up from the chair, she came over and spun me to face her. “You aren’t serious?”

“As a matter of fact he’s flying in this weekend.”

“Have you lost your mind? You want to end up floating in the river?” I could feel her trembling and knew she was truly frightened for me.

The above is from one my works in progress. It’s also pretty much the true story of how I met my husband of three years. He lived a thousand miles away from my home and there was more than a few obstacles to us ever truly having a life together. He had friends and family, a home and a business he didn’t want to leave. I too had friends and family and I had a seven-year-old son I didn’t want to take so far away from his father that he couldn’t see him whenever he wanted. The distance apart was a huge obstacle in itself. It wasn’t as though we could ‘date’ and get to know each other in the normal way.

Then of course there was the added pressure from friends and family, both his and mine, telling us how insane we were to even contemplate meeting and having a relationship with someone we’d met in a chat room. My friends tried fixing me up with every single man they knew, not to mention regaling me with all the horror stories of what could and has happened to women meeting men this way. I suppose they thought I was truly naive or stupid. I was neither. I knew the dangers and took all necessary precautions as well thoroughly checking this guy out before we’d ever had our first phone conversation.

I’ve heard it said many times that long distance relationships don’t work regardless of how you first meet. I’ll be the first to admit that it’s hard to keep one going over a long period. I suppose it depends on just how badly you want it to work. My husband and I communicated by email, phone and snail mail for over a year before we ever met in person. We discussed our beliefs, our faith, our likes and dislikes, and our feelings about everything imaginable. There wasn’t anything in our past or current lives we didn’t talk about. We had our differences and even fought about any number of things, just as all dating couples do. Being physically apart was the hardest thing. Once you establish an emotional bond, there’s a longing to be with that person, to touch, kiss, make love. It can be frustrating to say the least and I imagine has been the cause of many failed long distance relationships.

I often wonder if we’d lived closer and done the normal dating rituals, if we’d have had such long, in-depth conversations or gotten to know one another as well as we did. When you’re face to face you can do other things besides converse, but when you’re sitting there holding a phone to your ear it forces conversation. My long distance romance worked out beautifully when after looking at the pros and cons of the situation and much soul searching, my husband decided to leave his old life behind and move here to begin a new life with me. We married four years after having that first conversation by instant message and for two of those years we lived a thousand miles apart. It wasn’t easy, but we both knew we’d found in each other something we’d searched our entire adult lives for. We were soul mates and determined to make it work.

What do you think? Have you ever or would you even consider having a long distance romance?

Let me know!

Elizabeth

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Author E. G. Parsons -- Visit me on the web at http://egparsons.com

5 comments:

jean said...

Hi Elizabeth,
Nope, never had a long distance romance, but I'm glad your "story" has a HEA ending. That's just proof that when love is meant to be, it will be, despite obstacles of distance and time. Which brings me to your latest novel, Black Rock, A Time For Love.
LOVED IT!!
Jean

keri mikulski :) said...

Great post, Elizabeth. :)

When we first met, my hubby and I did the long distance thing for a while. It worked, but it sucked being apart. :)

Good luck with your WIP. Great stuff.

Brandy said...

The only time hubs and I have been apart is when he went for Basic and Tech training for the Military. 4 Months was toooooo long when we'd been married a year. *g*
I'm glad to know that love DOES conquer all and that long-distance relationships do work. *G*

Meljprincess said...

In the past I've tried long distance romance but it has never worked.
Brandy, my husband and I were married last Oct. and then he went to Kuwait for 7 months. I was so depressed.
Elizabeth, that is the most awesome story! It's wonderful how things worked out for you.
I'd love to read BLACK ROCK!!

Mel K.

Liza said...

Hey, thanks everyone, for the comments. Jean, I'm so happy you enjoyed BLACK ROCK. Brandy, I believe love does conquer all, but Keri is right about being physically apart, it does suck.
Mel, I'm having a contest in connection with this post and a chance to win a signed copy of BR...check my website. :) Elizabeth