Dog Dish with David M. Brown

Please welcome to the dog dish today, epic fantasy author, David M. Brown visiting on her tour with Goddess Fish Promotions. He and his wife, Donna, are owned by several cats who have deigned to join Dakota at the water bowl and chat.

David is the author of "Fezariu's Epiphany", a fantasy novel that I have and am thoroughly enjoying. The world-building is wonderful and the storyline interesting and unique. If you're a fan of fantasy, you should give it a try! Even better, the eBook is only $0.99 at Smashwords, so what do you have to lose?

But now, please give a warm welcome to the Cats Brown, visiting from over the pond:

So, your human writes books. Does this mean she is home all day and easy to access? Elaborate if necessary.

Charlie: He’s out all day on weekdays. Does some sort of office job, so he claims anyway, but in the evenings he’s busy writing.

Razz: He feeds us first thing then again when he gets back. He never pops home to feed us though, which I think is selfish. I know it takes him an hour to get to work, but still!

What are your techniques for distracting your human during crucial writing moments, just because it's fun? Whose primary job is it? What do the rest of you do to support the one doing the main distracting?

Bilbo: That’s usually down to me and Charlie. It is amusing when he’s typing away on that laptop contraption and I just jump onto his knee. How he reacts depends how involved he is in his work.

Charlie: That’s right. You don’t want to jump on him when he’s in serious writing mode. You may as well try tickling an angry bull behind the ears. It would be a lot less painful!

What indignities and neglect have you suffered because of your human's writing career?

Charlie: I have to say the food bowl is not full every second of the day and it’s just not acceptable.

Frodo: I am free to sing very loudly though when he’s writing.

Buggles: And I can climb on the curtains without being told off.

Bilbo: His lap is seldom free though, which will not do at all. It’s one of the comfiest beds in the house. He actually has a use on those occasions.

Tell me about the animals in your human's fiction. How often do they appear and how big a part do they play?

Charlie: Kain can tell you about his books. We’re too busy napping to bother reading them. I bet they’re rubbish.

Kain: He has talking animals in his history as well as anthropomorphic races such as valkayans and tolderes. Let’s not forget the elamorgias. They’re a race of feline headed men and though he won’t admit, I reckon we’re the inspiration for those guys.

On the off-chance your human has yet to incorporate animals into a story, what are your plans for making sure she rectifies this egregious error and demonstration of poor writing skills?

Charlie: He’s always had animals in mind for his books and, don’t you worry, we always keep a close eye on him. I’ve even organized the six of us to take shifts and spy on him from a distance. He thinks we’re clueless but we’re actually pretty smart and organized. I haven’t given up hope on him writing a biography about my life. It’s quite extraordinary.

What movies involving animals does your human enjoy sharing with you? Books with animals?

Buggles: He wouldn’t let us watch that Cats Vs Dogs film, would he? I cried for days.

Bilbo: He loves Watership Down. That’s the one with lots of rabbits and one cat, albeit a stupid one.

Charlie: Agreed. If I’d been that farm cat those rabbits wouldn’t have dared to cross me.

Kain (looks at Charlie): You do realize it’s not real, that film?

If you could make one change to your human, what would it be?

Frodo: I’d just like the food bowl to always be full.

Bilbo: I’d like him never to pick up that laptop again.

Kain: I’d like him to leave the front door open. It would save me having to jump on the door handle every time I want to come in.

Charlie: I’d just like him to be a mindless slave to us, giving into us at all times and making our lives easy while his is difficult. Hang on! He’s does all those things already!

Are you happy with your human? If you could tell your human one thing, what would it be?

Charlie: I’d say stop complaining and get that food in those bowls a lot faster than you are doing.

Razz: I don’t ask for much but I would like cat litter that is constantly clean, bowls that are always full, water that is fresh and a thousand or so different beds to nap in. As I say, I don’t ask for much.

What things do your human do that would mortify him if known? What does your human do that most annoys?

Frodo: When he’s asleep he does some bizarre things, such as mumbling random thoughts and for some reason he turns over in the night and elbows his wife, Donna. It’s a pain for her but imagine how we feel when we’re trying to get some quality sleep.

Charlie: His most annoying trait is how he guards the kitchen like it’s a gold mine. You can’t even breathe near it without him rushing over and ushering you out of the way. If any of us make it onto the kitchen side it’s like Armageddon.

Has your human named a character for you? Are you pleased? If not, why?

Buggles: He hasn’t named one after any of us yet. He insists Bilbo and Frodo have been used already though I can’t imagine where. My name is the same as a music group who sang a catchy tune so that’s no good. Kain and Razz may have a chance but I don’t think a fantasy character called Charlie would work.

Charlie: Charlie is a name for all occasions. He’ll realize that soon enough. Watch this space.

And did your human name you for a fictional character? Hate it or love it? If you could rename yourself, what would your name be?

Charlie: I have the dubious honour of being the only one of our group named by the owners. We’re all rescue cats, you see, but when they adopted me my previous name was John which they didn’t favour. Charlie certainly suits though I’m nothing like Charlie Brown from the Peanuts comics.

Buggles: Our owners like the Beatles, we should have been Paul, John, George and Ringo.

Kain: There are six of us, Buggles.

Razz: We should probably end the interview there. It’s been great fun, thank you.

Frodo & Bilbo: Thanks a lot.

Charie: Keep an eye out for that Charlie biography. It will happen. I promise you.

Suffering a betrayal as a young boy, Fezariu turns his back on his family. Convinced their way of life will help him leave his past behind, he joins the Merelax Mercenaries. In a quest to prove himself and survive his dangerous assignments in the Colonies, he's forced to forge new alliances but works hard to distance himself emotionally. Despite his determined focus to move on his thoughts are drawn back to Clarendon where the White Oak, an infamous brothel, holds the secret to his past and the childhood friend he abandoned still remains.

Author Bio: David M. Brown was born in Barnsley in 1982 and first conceived the idea of Elenchera in college. His love of history and English led him to read these subjects at Huddersfield University. David is inspired by medieval history, Norse mythology and Japanese role-playing video games and anime films. He lives in Huddersfield with his wife Donna and their six rescue cats.

The Elencheran Chronicles: http://elenchera.com
The World According to Dave: http://blog.elenchera.com
Facebook: http://www.facebook.com/elenchera http://www.facebook.com/fezariu
Twitter: http://www.twitter.com/elenchera
Book Video: www.youtube.com/watch?v=mPgcNNLMBvY