Wednesday, September 16, 2009

What, Where, When, Why, How with Anne Kane

Welcome to Changeling Press author, Anne Kane!

What is your least favorite food?

My least favorite food is lobster. Ever since childhood, I’ve had an aversion to any seafood that doesn’t come deep-fried in a nice beer-batter. When I was nine, my Dad arrived home from an East Coast business trip with two live lobsters. Now you have to realize that we kids had never seen live lobsters before. Dad put them in a box in the back yard to wait for the big dinner planned in their honor. My siblings and I promptly named them. And played with them. And bestowed personalities on them. I’m sure everyone on the continent heard my mother’s amazing outburst when she found out that he expected her to drop Annabelle and Betsy – still alive and kicking – into a pot of boiling water. I had no idea she had such an impressive vocabulary. I’m not a vegetarian, but if it’s alive when I get to the restaurant, I’d like it to be alive when I leave.

When is a heroine TSTL?

Oh, this is such a good question. There are so many times when the heroine, while gorgeous and incredibly sexy, proves that she’s just too stupid to live. The author spends ninety-nine pages keeping her just steps ahead of the homicidal maniac, but on page one hundred, the brainless ninny ditches her hunky bodyguard and drives to the local mall because she needs the perfect shade of nail polish to match her lingerie. Any bets on how this one ends?

How about the woman who just spent twenty pages wondering if her co-worker is a serial rapist, and then decides to park her car in that dark, deserted underground garage that he has unlimited access to?

My personal all time favorite TSTL heroine, though, is the one who wakes up to find a strange man in her bedroom and immediately thinks, “Wow, he’s gorgeous!” How stupid is that? Unless you ordered room service before you went to bed, a strange, uninvited guy in your bedroom is NOT a good thing, no matter what he looks like.

Where do you go to have fun?

Well, if I told you that, everyone would go and then it wouldn’t be as much fun! *G*

Okay, seriously, it depends on what time of the year it is. Up here in the frozen North, we have four very distinct seasons. In the spring, I love to go hiking. There are many wonderful walking trails near my home and I just love to take the dog and wander around the hillsides. We enjoy smelling that nice clean mud and admiring all the spring flowers.

Now in the summer, you can find me in the water. Any water will do. I kayak, go swimming in the river, or splash around the local pool, and I just LOVE the waterslides. Of course, I need to take a few grandkids with me as a disguise. After all, I’m much old to be going because I love the big loop de loops and the huge splash I make when I land in the pool at the bottom. Sometimes I just like to sit on my deck with a nice glass of wine and watch the world go by.

In the fall, I make a valiant effort to visit all the fall fairs within driving distance. I love country fairs. They have that yummy confection known as cotton candy, and I have to admit it’s my one weakness. Well okay, I have a lot of weaknesses, but cotton candy is pretty close to the top of the list!

Winter? Well, let’s just say I like to see how realistic I can make a snowman. Then I retreat to a nice fireside chair with my wine and a good book.

Why do we drive on a parkway and park on a driveway?

The answer to this is somehow related to the fact that we call it rush hour when the cars are barely moving. I think it’s a conspiracy by the Big Three car manufacturers to make the general population even more confused than normal, and get them to buy more cars. Just picture the three CEOs, sitting at the boardroom table for their annual strategy session.
“We need to name that stretch of mud people have in front of their homes where they keep their cars,” says CEO number one, chomping on his cigar stub. ”If it had a name, everyone would have to buy a car from us to keep on it.”

“How about a parking space?” suggests CEO number two.

“Nah.” It needs to be something catchy.”

CEO number three takes another swig of his imported beer and grins maniacally. “I think we should call it a driveway.”

“Are you serious? That’s nuts!” says CEO number one.

“They don’t drive on it, they park on it” points out CEO number two.

“But they have to drive onto it to park.” CEO number three warms to his subject. “And they drive off it when they leave. Besides, the guys over at ABC Home Sales owe me one. I gave them a great discount on all of those cars we had left over after the exploding gas tank debacle. I’m sure I can get them to co-operate.”

And the very next day, the head realtor for ABC Home Sales was overheard talking to a prospective buyer. “And with this model, you get a double driveway. Never heard of a driveway? Oh, it’s all the rage. Everybody who is anybody has one!”

How did the One-Eyed Jack lose his eye?

It’s a very little known fact that before he retired to the deck of cards, the One-Eyed Jack was a swashbuckling pirate. He went by the name of Jack B Nimble because he had a habit of jumping back and forth over candlesticks when he got drunk. And he got drunk a lot.

One day, when he’d imbibed a great deal of the local grog; an evil landlubber exchanged the usual eight inch tall candle for a twelve inch tall one. Well, Jack was a little less nimble than usual and his foot nicked the top of the candle on his very first jump. He went crashing to the floor and a splinter jabbed right into his eye. The local doctor did his best, but he couldn’t save the eye, and from that day forth, Jack B Nimble became the One-Eyed Jack.

Anne Kane lives in the beautiful Okanagan Valley with a bouncy Jack Russell terrier, a cantankerous Himalayan cat, and too many fish to count. She has two handsome sons and three adorable grandchildren. By day, she’s a respectable bean counter, but after hours her imagination soars and she writes romances that span the galaxy and encompass beings of all sizes, shapes and origins.

In 2007, she decided to take her writing seriously. She entered a novella, Kellen’s Conquest, in the Red Sage Alpha Male contest. She also submitted a short story to Changeling Press. Much to her surprise, the novella won first place and will be published in the Secrets: Vol. 30 anthology in 2010. The short story was the first of many she contracted to Changeling Press, LLP.

Her hobbies include kayaking, hiking, motorcycles, swimming, skating, playing guitar, spoiling with her pets, singing and of course, reading.


Anne Kane said...

Good morning, Marianne, and thank you for interviewing me.The weather up here is gorgeous so I'm going to go take me coffee out onto the deck.


Dru said...

That was a fun interview.

I'm with you on lobsters - I won't eat them because I saw them being dunked in hot boiling water and I could swear they were pleading with me to save them.

Anonymous said...

What a great interview! So much fun.

Lobster is ok but prefer shrimp :)

Now the whole driveway term makes sense, thanks for clearing that up :)

Brandy said...

I like your philosophy on food and eating out. *G* Cracked up at using your grandchildren as a ruse at the waterslides. *G* I'm now craving cotton candy, too. *G*
Great interview, thanks!

Anne Kane said...

Thanks everyone. Good to know I"m not the only one to wimp out on the lobsters.LOL

Thanks for stopping in and commenting.