Tuesday, October 19, 2010

How I Am

I think my idea of retirement might be to one day work a 40-hour week. ~Vince McMahon

Dru asked me yesterday how I was. Truth? I'm tired.

Here's the thing. Despite gabbing daily on this blog, I'm a pretty private person. The things that affect me the most seldom get discussed -- here or anywhere else. I'm the kind of person who only has a couple REALLY close friends and it takes a long time for me to be comfortable enough to bare my soul to anyone.

I know you've all had significant hints that things have been bumpy for me lately. Trust is, it's been more than bumpy -- it's been overwhelming and exhausting and very nearly more than I could handle. I had a bit of a meltdown last week. I hit the wall HARD and didn't feel like picking myself up.

I did, of course. That's the Type A in me... but it didn't make me happy, or less stressed and tired.

That fact is, my life revolves around the LASR/WC website. It's the first thing I work on when I get up, and the last thing I do at night. It's a labor of love, but it's killing me. It's also killing my business partner (who has a full time job outside the home) and the other ladies who work with me. Honestly, we all rather hit the wall last week -- we don't usually coordinate so well!

The good news is that I'm trying to take steps to help eliminate what stressors I can. I miss having a life: playing board games with my daughter, scrapbooking, cross stitching, even gardening (which I did precious little of this year). I didn't even do the cooking from scratch that I'd intended. I miss visiting all the blogs I love on a daily basis. And WRITING! How I miss writing. If I had a dollar for every time someone has asked me when I'd write sequels to several of my stories, I'd be rich.

Those steps will take place slowly over time, and some things will probably make me MORE stressed before they make me less stressed (like learning software that will ultimately make my life easier), but I have hopes it will happen.

Fact is, it has to happen. I don't know that I'll discuss things much unless they impact the blog, but behind the scenes, there will be changes. And hopefully, you'll start seeing a happier more relaxed me.

And that, to answer Dru (*G*), is how I am.


You Are Ruled by Saturn

You are a driven and focused person. You always have at least one major goal in site.

You are responsible and capable. It drives you crazy to sit still for any amount of time.

You love to be productive, and you're definitely guilty of sometimes being a workaholic.

You have experienced a lot in your life. You are very wise, and people look up to you.

HAHAHAHAHA... could there have been a more perfect quiz for today? And, yeah, it's 100% right on - well, maybe not the wise and being looked-up-to part, unless you count Dakota. *snort*



Xeranthemum said...

HUGS, M~!!!!
I hope things DO get better.
And Yeah, that's you and people DO look up to you, I do.

And.. I got

You Are Ruled by Venus
You are a romantic person. Relationships are the cornerstone of your life, and you need a partner.
It's not easy for you to be single, but luckily you never stay single very long.

You are a considerate and generous person. You tend to put your own needs last.
You want to please everyone around you... so much so that you forget to take care of yourself.

Wow- It sorta IS me. How weird.

Dru said...


I hope things get better for you.

You Are Ruled by Neptune

You are a spiritual and dreamy person. Your thoughts wander to very interesting places.

It's sometimes hard for you to focus. You're not an easy person to pin down.

You are idealistic and a bit romantic. You can have some pretty grand fantasies.

You are always looking to escape reality a little. You are moved by art of all varieties.

This is so me with a slight tinkering.

Have a good Tuesday.

Maria Zannini said...

I was you ten years ago. You have to let go of some things.

In the big scheme of life, they're not really important, but it took a while for me to figure that out.

A couple of good burn outs made that lesson clear.

I hope you'll ease up on yourself soon.

Brandy said...

I wish things were easier for you now. I hope things become easier for you in the future.

You Are Ruled by Mercury
You love to talk, and you're darn good at it. You are a very outgoing person.
You are a good communicator, and you can get your message across to almost anyone.
You are very energetic, and you get restless easily, especially when you're by yourself.
You are extremely curious and even a bit brainy. You love to investigate everything.

Well, I am rather nosey, but being shy kind of cuts down on the outgoing thing. *g*

I hope you have a GOOD day!

Tori Lennox said...

Hugs, sweetie!!!!