The most important things are the hardest to say, because words diminish them. ~ Stephen King
A few days ago, a friend IM'd me -- she and her DH of many, many years had fought terribly, with horrible things being said (by him). Though there was certainly grounds for hurt feelings between the two of them over what caused the fight, it was very extreme. She was devastated and he barely spoke to her. It was bad enough for her to wonder if it would end her marriage.
Fast forward two days ...
I got another IM from her last night. Panicked. Her DH had had a heart attack that morning. He wanted to ignore his pains and go to work, she made him call the doc from home. They were told to get to the ER immediately ... and as it turns out, that was a wise decision. The doc told them that any significant delay would probably have been fatal. Her DH is in the hospital now, stable.
But, it got me to thinking. What if he hadn't made it? What if he'd died with all that hate and anger between them? He'll have a chance to say "I'm sorry" now, and I hope he takes it. She'll have a chance to be a better wife. I know she'll take it. But life doesn't always give us second chances.
I lost my dad more than twenty years ago to cancer. I was young and had better things to do than spend every day with him when he was sick. Oh... I visited him. I did things with him, but I certainly didn't spend as much time with him as I should have. And worse, I don't remember ever telling him that I loved him -- things like that just weren't bandied around by us.
Even though he was terminal, it seemed as though he'd always be there. Then one day he wasn't and I lost all my chances to talk to him one more time. My chance to tell him I loved him. Life doesn't always give us second chances.
Last night, my DH was working late (as is usual). I called him and told him what had happened and said that, although the odds were against anything happening to either of us before he got home, I wanted him to know that I loved him. I gave my daughter an extra few squeezes last night as well.
Life doesn't always give us second chances. Why not make sure you've told those people around you who matter just how much they DO matter? We tend to feel invincible, but things happen. From car accidents to terrorist attacks (you think anyone expected 9/11 to happen?). I even have a friend whose husband fell out of bed, and it killed him. Yes, really.
Make the most of this moment. You might not get another one.