One of my least favorite jobs with The Long and the Short of It is declining reviews. When Judy and I started the site, we agreed that we were going to be a "no snark" reviews site. I'm an author, Judy is an aspiring one, we know how it hurts when someone says bad things about your work. Obviously, every book or story doesn't rate a positive review -- though most have at least enough to recommend them despite some parts that may not be great.
Still, it happens, and when it does I ask my reviewers to give me reasons why they can't recommend a story (and rejected requests go through at least two reviewers because a review is only one person's opinion, so we give them the best chance we can). But if two or more can't give it a good review, it's declined and I sent an email explaining why.
I've been banished from doing reviews anymore because I clearly haven't a clue what the majority of people like. Recently, I read a book that I thought was just plain awful: stupid heroine, lousy plot, poor writing. A big-time wallbanger. And when I passed it on for a second review, the next person LOVED it. RAVED about it.
But this post is about the ones that don't make it through...
My reviewers can be honest with me, and are frequently brutal and often funny when they turn down a review. They know I'll sift through their remarks and craft a letter to the publisher or author that is both kind and constructive (I think I do the job well, as we've had authors come back to us more than once with new work and asking us to review it, even after a decline from us). But, I'm often amused by comments from them when they can really let loose. And one, recently, really made me laugh:
The denouement actually had me regret the book was in e-format, it would have been satisfying to hurl it in a corner.
So... my question for you is this: When you read something that is so awful you wouldn't even want to curse another reader with the copy... how would you dispose of the book? Get creative... let loose... it's only a figurative book -- you're not really lining the cage of your pet parrot. Or using it for a firestarter.
Remember-- this is a pretend book, and pretend destruction. It's okay to have a little fun!
You Are Engaged
You feel completely absorbed and intrigued right now. You're cheerfully busy.
You're alert and completely involved with everything you do. You don't walk through life half-asleep.
If you're interested and engrossed, then you feel incredibly happy.
You are constantly curious and never bored. There's too much to be fascinated with!