Monday, January 05, 2009

Monday Morning Meme and more

Laughter and tears are both responses to frustration and exhaustion. I myself prefer to laugh, since there is less cleaning up to do afterward. ~Kurt Vonnegut

1. What was the last thing you laughed at? Would you say you have a great sense of humor? What sorts of things make you laugh in general? Would you say people “get” your humor?

This email was the last thing I laughed at:

Once again, The Washington Post has published the winning submissions to its yearly neologism contest, in which readers are asked to supply alternative meanings for common words.

The winners are:

1. Coffee (n.), the person upon whom one coughs.

2. Flabbergasted (adj.), appalled over how much weight you have gained.

3 . Abdicate (v.), to give up all hope of ever having a flat stomach.

4. Esplanade (v.), to attempt an explanation while drunk.

5. Willy-nilly (adj.), impotent.

6. Negligent (adj.), describes a condition in which you absentmindedly answer the door in your nightgown.

7. Lymph (v.), to walk with a lisp.

8. Gargoyle (n), olive-flavored mouthwash.

9. Flatulence (n.) emergency vehicle that picks you up after you are run over by a steamroller.

10. Balderdash (n.), a rapidly receding hairline.

11. Testicle (n.), a humorous question on an exam.

12. Rectitude (n.), the formal, dignified bearing adopted by proctologists.

13. Pokemon (n), a Rastafarian proctologist.

14. Oyster (n.), a person who sprinkles his conversation with Yiddishisms.

15. Frisbeetarianism (n.), (back by popular demand): The belief that, when you die, your soul flies up onto the roof and gets stuck there.

16. Circumvent (n.), an opening in the front of boxer shorts worn by Jewish men.

I have an odd sense of humor. I'm more "Frasier" than Adam Sandler or Three Stooges. I appreciate a good pun, and liberally sprinkle my conversation with sarcasm. Some people get it, some don't.

2. How many pieces of jewelery are you wearing at this very moment? Do you wear jewelry every day, or only on special occasions? What is your favorite piece of jewelery? Tell us the story behind one piece of your jewelery.

Um... wedding ring and two pairs of earrings: diamond studs and usually silver hoops. Does a watch count? That's pretty much what I wear daily. I really don't wear necklaces or bracelets and my ears are the only thing I have pierced. My fave jewelry would be my wedding ring. Story? Um... the diamond earrings I wear in the top hole in my ears were from my DH. I wanted little bitty chips (maybe an 1/8th carat total?), and he refused to get me something that small. I think the ones I have are 1/4 carat, but I gotta be honest -- it really doesn't matter to me. I am SO not a jewelry person. If I could find good, cheap, fake jewelry that wouldn't tarnish, I'd be all over it. Who cares if it's real?

3. If you could offer one piece of etiquette advice that everyone should follow when dining out, what would it be?

I have to admit to leaning toward how your treat the waitstaff... but that's probably because I was one for so many years. Pay attention to them, they really are people. I typically make folks who eat out with me laugh, because I'll carry on long conversations with the servers, but I remember being ignored or treated like a piece of furniture, and that stinks.

You might also take your kids outside if they are screaming, turn off your cell phone and don't talk like the person with you is deaf.

Wait... you asked for one, didn't you? ::shrugs::

4. What are the first three things a guest would notice when they walked through your front door?

Once they got through the Dakota leaping, crying, barking, licking greeting? The stairs (the door pretty much opens on them, the living room and the TV room. I don't have any fancy furniture or paintings or knick-knacks. Sorry.


Favorite line I wrote for my JaNoWriMo challenge yesterday (from "A Jewel for Geoff")... Liv has just run into Geoff (much to his dismay). And she says:

“Geoff, I need advice.” She grabbed his sleeve and tugged him to the chairs that lined the wall, shoving him into one. “Okay, now pretend you’re a man.”



RE: My Big Fat Greek Wedding...the votes were as follows:

Chick Flick: 5

Comedy: 2

People who haven't seen it, but thought it was a chick flick: 2

Hmmmm..... I guess the votes reflect that it's a truly funny chick flick that both men and women can enjoy.



Ceri Hebert said...

Hope you have a good writing day.
I'm struggling here. But it's early and the kids are up.

Love the quote from JfG. Ouch indeed!

Dru said...

I'm laughing at the "revised" definitions of those words. Too funny.

I love that quote from Liv.

Have a good Monday.

Sue said...

That is a funny email! :) I'm a Fraser type as well :) Have a great week ahead.

Jodi said...

The email is funny! Have a great Monday!

Kathy said...

That email is so funny. Hubby and i have had the best laugh. Hope you have a wonderful Monday.

Melissa said...

Fun post! And I do like that line.

Amy said...

LOL! I like that dictionary.

GREAT line.

Brandy said...

I like your line. *G*
Some of those definitons were certainly creative!

I hope you have a fabulous day!

Tori Lennox said...

Today I am a flabbergasted coffee. *g*