Sunday, October 28, 2007

Dog and Cat Diaries

Your cat will never threaten your popularity by barking at three in the morning. He won't attack the mailman or eat the drapes, although he may climb the drapes to see how the room looks from the ceiling. ~Helen Powers

I love this!

Excerpts from a Dog's Daily Diary:

8:00 am - Dog food! My favorite thing!
9:30 am - A car ride! My favorite thing!
9:40 am - A walk in the park! My favorite thing!
10:30 am - Got rubbed and petted! My favorite thing!
12:00 pm - Lunch! My favorite thing!
1:00 pm - Played in the yard! My favorite thing!
3:00 pm - Wagged my tail! My favorite thing!
5:00 pm - Milk bones! My favorite thing!
7:00 pm - Got to play ball! My favorite thing!
8:00 pm - Wow! Watched TV with the people! My favorite thing!
11:00 pm - Sleeping on the bed! My favorite thing!

Excerpts from a Cat's Daily Diary:

Day 683 of my captivity:

My captors continue to taunt me with bizarre little dangling objects.

They dine lavishly on fresh meat while the other inmates and I are fed hash or some sort of dry nuggets.

Although I make my contempt for the rations perfectly clear, I nevertheless must eat something in order to keep up my strength.

The only thing that keeps me going is my dream of escape.

In an attempt to disgust them, I once again vomit on the floor.

Today I decapitated a mouse and dropped its headless body at their feet. I had hoped this would strike fear into their hearts, since it clearly demonstrates what I am capable of. However, they merely made condescending comments about what a "good little hunter" I am. The audacity!

There was some sort of assembly of their accomplices tonight. I was placed in solitary confinement for the duration of the event. However, I could hear the noises and smell the food. I overheard that my confinement was due to the power of "allergies." I must learn what this means, and how to use it to my advantage.

Today I was almost successful in an attempt to assassinate one of my tormentors by weaving around his feet as he was walking. I must try this again tomorrow - but at the top of the stairs.

I am convinced that the other prisoners here are flunkies and snitches.

The dog receives special privileges. He is regularly released - and seems to be more than willing to return. He is obviously retarded!

The bird has got to be an informant. I observe him communicating with the guards regularly. I am certain that he reports my every move. My captors have arranged protective custody for him in an elevated cell, so he is safe.... for now.


============================

Once again, on As The Website Turns, I have been unable to login to the control panel of LASR since Friday morning. It's still keeping me out today. Is there some sort of dance, or way I can hold my mouth, or broken website company God I can pray to? I'm really, really starting to get nervous. I used to praise this company and highly recommend it to folks, but they're doing a server migration of sorts, and uploading everyone onto to a new control panel -- and so far it's tremendously unsuccessful. My DH, who does stuff like this for a living, tells me there has probably never been a successful migration in the history of computers.

Maybe not. But this is the first time I've ever had something like this affect me so adversely. Grrr... It had better be up by Monday Morning. We have a great Halloween week planned: book giveaways (three this time), a free short story, and more.

I just need to be able to upload the site.

*sigh*

==============================

You Are: 30% Dog, 70% Cat

You and cats have a lot in common.
You're both smart and in charge - with a good amount of attitude.
However, you do have a very playful side that occasionally comes out!

8 comments:

Judy Thomas said...

I am 60% dog and 40% cat... no wonder we get along so well! Together we're nearly 100% dog and just over 100% cat.

I haven't had enough coffee... can you tell?

Dru said...

I love the cat's diary, it is so like them.

I'm 40% Dog and 60% Cat.

I hope you get your server up quickly. I had to deal with a server migration last year and I lost one month of usage, but they did reimburse me and then I changed web hosting company.

Have a pleasant Sunday.

anno said...

Personally, I think the characterizations of cat and dog are spot on. Like you, I am 30% Dog and 70% Cat. But dogs are my favorite pet.

Melissa said...

Another one...

You Are: 30% Dog, 70% Cat
You and cats have a lot in common.
You're both smart and in charge - with a good amount of attitude.
However, you do have a very playful side that occasionally comes out!

Okay, I love the dog/cat excerpts. So funny and spot on. Thanks for making me laugh!

Tori Lennox said...

You Are: 80% Dog, 20% Cat

You and dogs definitely have a lot in common.
You're both goofy, happy, and content with the small things in life.
However, you're definitely not as needy as the average dog. You need your down time occasionally.


LOL! Sad but true. *g*

Brandy said...

LOVE the cat diary entry! It seems so true to their behavior. *G*

I am 40% Dog and 60% cat. I better be more cat than dog considering how many of the little furballs I have!

Have a more relaxing evening that your day!

Jen of A2eatwrite said...

I LOVE the dog versus cat diary. I was on the floor the first time I read that.

groovyoldlady said...

You Are: 60% Dog, 40% Cat
You are a nice blend of cat and dog.
You're playful but not too needy. And you're friendly but careful.
And while you have your moody moments, you're too happy to stay upset for long.

That is exactly me!

Sorry you're having so many server blow-outs (hyphenated...sorry!). Sometimes the computer/internet can be SOOOOOOOOOOO frustrating!