What, When, Where, Why and How with Vivi Andrews

Give a huge HOWDY to Vivi Andrews -- a funny lady with a great taste in jokes.

What is your favorite joke?

I am a huge nerd. My favorite joke is a philosophy joke. You know how Rene Descartes is famous for the phrase I think, therefore I am? Well, my favorite joke goes like this: So, Descartes walks into a bar and the bartender says to him, “Hey, Rene, you want a beer?” and Descartes says, “I think not.” And then poof! He disappears. Hee, hee, hee. That one kills me.


When you were young, what did you do?

Do you mean, like, what did I do for a living when I was younger? Because a better question might be what didn’t I do. I think I’ve held every job known to man. Or do you mean “what did you do” as in what kind of games did I play when I was really young? I will confess right now that I used to make up character sketches for my Playmobile toys and write them in Hello Kitty notebooks. I’ve been writing stories since I learned to write. Or was there a third meaning to the question? I think I’m still pretty young, so does that mean you want to know what I’m doing right now? But I fully intend to be young-at-heart for the rest of my life, so are you asking for my entire life plan??? Oh, God! The pressure! My overachiever gene has kicked in and I must answer the question correctly, but I’m not sure I understand the question! Ack! Help! I’m trapped inside my own neurotic need to overanalyze things (which is also something I did when I was young). Trick question!


Where is the best place to have lunch out?

Wherever my friends are. My favorite lunches are always the ones that last for hours, filled with lively conversations and fueled by a dozen refills of Diet Coke. So I guess my favorite place to eat is anywhere that doesn’t kick us out for laughing too loudly. That said, has anyone out there in computer-land ever been to La Madeleine? It’s a chain of walk-up-to-the-counter French bistros with amazing food and this very rustic décor. Je l’aime, baby.


Why have you told a half-truth? See the answer to the second question?

Where I said I wrote in Hello Kitty notebooks? A lie! It was all a lie! You see, the notebooks were really pink and girly and Hello Kitty-esq, but I think they were actually Bonnie Bell or Disney or some other manufacturer of kiddie notepads. The truth is: I don’t remember what kind of notebooks they were, but Hello Kitty would conjure in the reader’s mind the most accurate approximation of the truth, so I lied. Those are the kinds of half-truths I tend to tell. The ones that are based on my own faulty memory and the desire to get the feel of a memory right, rather than the fact of it.


How do you know when to trust someone?

I am gullible. I have a nasty tendency to trust everyone until they prove to be untrustworthy. Everyone is honorable, trustworthy and capable until proven otherwise. The ‘proven otherwise’ part can be depressing, but I try to maintain a sunshine-and-roses outlook on life through it all. Blind optimism is my delusion of choice.

Vivi Andrews is a mild-mannered accounting clerk by day, transforming into the (nearly) superhuman author of paranormal romantic comedies each night. Her debut novella, The Ghost Shrink, the Accidental Gigolo & the Poltergeist Accountant is now available from Samhain Publishing. Vivi currently resides in the Pacific Northwest with a laptop, a worn-out library card, and season tickets to the Seattle Mariners.

Visit Vivi at: www.viviandrews.com
or http://blogspot.viviandrews.com