Tuesday, August 05, 2008

Kitchen Matches Contest!

When baking, follow directions. When cooking, go by your own taste. ~Laiko Bahrs

Okay... to celebrate the release of my novella, "Kitchen Matches" from Samhain Publishing on August 12th ... I'm having a contest with not one, but TWO(!) winners.

The prize? Each person will win a free PDF copy of "Kitchen Matches" and the person who makes me laugh the hardest will also get a $5 gift certificate to Amazon.com -- what a deal.

I'll tell you what you need to do to enter in a moment, but first some background.

The heroine of "Kitchen Matches" can't boil water without burning it, so she enrolls in a cooking class (after being double-dog dared by her brothers). There she meets Micah, the teacher who is a great chef, but mechanically challenged.

They have their share of accidents in and out of the kitchen, and no one likes to suffer alone.

So here's what I want from you.

Email me (at authormariannearkins (AT) gmail (DOT) com) your worst cooking disaster and/or your worst auto repair/accident disaster -- but make it funny, please. You know there's always humor in them when you look back, right?

I need all emails to me by the end of the day on August 9th. I'll post them all anonymously (either on my website or blog, whichever I decide is easier) and then have YOU all vote for one on the 10th.

I'll announce the winners on the 11th and get them their prize(s).

Now, just to inspire you, here's a tidbit from "Kitchen Matches":

Corinne Weathers, Cori to her friends and family—but not to her very proper cooking class teacher, Micah DePalma—gave a squeak of fear at the flames creeping up her apron. She slapped at them with her potholder, but it didn’t help. Her throat was so tight with panic, she couldn’t cry out for help. With one last futile whack at the growing fire, and desperately trying to remain calm, Cori reached behind her neck to untie the apron straps. Her trembling fingers fumbled with the bow and pulled it into a good, solid knot.

A brief hissing sound was the only warning she got before clouds of whatever white stuff lurked inside a fire extinguisher smacked into her gut like a fist and drifted in a halo around her head.

She coughed and waved a hand in the air in an attempt to clear it. “Thanks.”

“You’re welcome.” A familiar male voice threaded through the cloud.

Cori grimaced. Ack. Saved by Micah DePalma, her handsome-but-cranky cooking teacher. Why couldn’t it have been someone—anyone—else? She closed her eyes for a moment and prayed for something to rescue her from his wrath. She knew a lecture was on its way, knew she deserved one for setting herself on fire, but she really didn’t want to hear it.

“Are you okay?” Micah’s low voice rumbled over her, as did one firm hand as he checked for injuries. “No burns?”

Cori ignored the warmth of his skin on hers and cracked open one watering eye to look at him. He really seemed genuinely worried. Not angry. How had that happened? She’d done nothing but annoy him since this course had started.

“I’m okay. Thanks to you.” She shrugged off his hand.

“And no thanks to you,” he replied, tossing the small fire extinguisher back and forth and giving her a lopsided smile only slightly tinged with irritation.

Uh oh. Here it came. She scrunched up her face, prepared for the worst. Maybe if she apologized before he yelled, it would help. “I’m sorry.”

“I imagine you are.” He set down the small red metal tube and stared at the disaster area that was her stove. “However, I’d say you failed this lesson. You may spend the rest of class cleaning up this mess.”

Without a backward glance to make certain Cori obeyed his royal decree, Micah turned and walked away. She took a quick look at the horrified faces of her classmates. Her face burned as hot as the flames had on her apron, but she refused to give in to the tears that threatened. Instead she snatched up a wet rag and rubbed at the spilled oil and other goop on the stovetop.


C'mon, y'all... make me laugh :-)

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You Are a Learning Cook



You've got the makings of an excellent cook, and the desire to be one.

But right now, you're just lacking the experience. You couldn't be a top chef yet, but you could be an apprentice.



Gotta disagree with this one... I'm not a fancy, diverse cook... but I'm not learning, either. :::shrugs:::

==================================

Melissa,

You asked how my writing was going. It's not. Unfortunately. However, I'm really beginning to suffer for not writing (emotionally), so I'm scheduling time every day to start it up again. I have to write, or lose my mind. LOL...

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6 comments:

keri mikulski :) said...

Me too.. I get miserable if I'm not writing. Great contest!

Diane Craver said...

I got the same thing you did. Was surprised to see the result of me being a learning cook.

Awesome contest - I have a funny cooking accident to share.

That's wonderful you'll have another release soon! Hope you sell tons of books.

groovyoldlady said...

I, on the other hand, am an excellent cook! :D

I'm also a very attentive cook as you will see in your email...

Jen of A2eatwrite said...

The excerpt is making me hungry... for the book! I'll have to think about cooking disasters... wait, I've got one!

Don't have any auto repair disasters, because my going near an engine would be a disaster in itself.

Brandy said...

Any cooking disaster I've had hasn't been funny. Just annoying to me. *G*
I recieved You are a learning cook, as well. Since I prefer to make up half my own recipes but most are comfort foods I don't agree. *G*

Hope you get back to writing!

Have a nice day!

Melissa said...

Hugs on the not writing. Good for trying to schedule it in!

I actually have a cooking disaster. Two of them, but one may be more funny than the other. I'll have to see if I can find the time and hands to type it in!