Goofy Stuff

Humor has a way of bringing people together. It unites people. In fact, I'm rather serious when I suggest that someone should plant a few whoopee cushions in the United Nations. ~ Ron Dentinger

Judy went to town yesterday with all kinds of games and quizzes. I played the map one so far, and after all the "next" buttons came across this:

LEFT BRAIN VS. RIGHT BRAIN

While seated, lift your right foot off the floor and make clockwise circles.

Now, while doing this, draw the number "6" in the air with your right hand.

Your foot will change direction and there's absolutely nothing you can do about it.

I did this a ton of times, and they're right! I can't seem to stop my foot from changing direction.

The things we do to waste time.

While reading this blog entry, I came across Rule Number 4:

New Rule 4: Ladies, leave your eyebrows alone. Here's how much men care about your eyebrows: do you have two of them? Okay, we're done.

This completely cracked me up for some reason. Maybe it's just me...

And lastly, I leave you with something you might have already seen, but contains the wisdom of the ages:

Why, Why, Why

Why do we press harder on a remote control when we know the batteries are getting weak?

Why do banks charge a fee for "insufficient funds" when they know there is not enough ?

Why does someone believe you when you say there are four billion stars but check when you say the paint is wet?

Why doesn't glue stick to the bottle?

Why do they use sterilized needles for death by lethal injection?

Why doesn't Tarzan have a beard?

Why does Superman stop bullets with his chest, but ducks when you throw a revolver at him?

Why do Kamikaze pilots wear helmets?

Whose idea was it to put an "S" in the word "lisp"?

If people evolved from apes, why are there still apes?

Why is it that no matter what color bubble bath you use the bubbles are always white?

Is there ever a day that mattresses are not on sale?

Why do people constantly return to the refrigerator with hopes that something new to eat will have materialized?

Why do people keep running over a string a dozen times with their vacuum cleaner, then reach down, pick it up, examine it, then put it down to give the vacuum one more chance?

Why is it that no plastic bag will open from the end on your first try?

How do those dead bugs get into those enclosed light fixtures?

When we are in the supermarket and someone rams our ankle with a shopping cart then apologizes for doing so, why do we say, "It's all right?" Well, it isn't all right, so why don't we say, "That hurt, you stupid idiot?"

Why is it that whenever you attempt to catch something that's falling off the table you always manage to knock something else over?

In winter why do we try to keep the house as warm as it was in summer when we complained about the heat?

How come you never hear father-in-law jokes?

We now return you to your regularly scheduled blog.

Yes, I'm still writing.

Yes, I'm still reading the same book from yesterday.

Yes, I really, really need a second cup of coffee before I post any more blog entries.

How's your day going?