Decisions, Decisions

If the pain wanders, do not waste your time with doctors. ~Mignon McLaughlin, The Neurotic's Notebook, 1960

The... patient should be made to understand that he or she must take charge of his own life. Don't take your body to the doctor as if he were a repair shop. ~Quentin Regestein

I received an email from the very sweet and thoughtful, Maria Zannini last night which reminded me that I haven't shared a recent decision with you about my knee surgery.

The short version is this: I've canceled it.

Now, the long story (if you're interested). Way back in the fall when the doc suggested surgery, I started heavily researching alternative treatments. I don't like surgery (who does, except those plastic surgery addicted people?) and wondered if there might be other options.

I made several lifestyle changes.

I went to a diet of about 70% raw foods, heavy on greens like spinach, and even now have a "green" smoothie for breakfast every day (it has cucumber, carrot, broccoli, apple, spinach, blueberries, ground flaxseed, soy yogurt and orange juice) and sometimes for dinner, too. Cucumber and flaxseed are good for cartilage and ligament strength, broccoli, blueberries and orange juice are high in anti-oxidants and spinach is just good for everything. If you ate nothing but spinach for the rest of your life, you'd probably stay healthy.

I (mostly) decaffeinated myself. I stopped drinking soda (there is evidence that the carbonation actually depletes calcium from our bones). I added high doses of glucosomine/chondrontin/MSM to my diet, as well as additional supplements of fish oil and vitamin C. I also take Yucca, which is an herbal anti-inflammatory (it's great for arthritis in people AND dogs, in case you wondered).

As my knee felt better (and it did!) I began exercising it. Walking more. Taking the stairs. I could kneel on it and squat! I added in some stretching (I've lost a little range of movement in both directions -- it takes an effort to straighten my knee all the way, though I can without pain, and bending it all the way is difficult). As a side effect to all of this, the joint pain I've had in my toe for ten years AND the joint pain I've had in my right thumb for three or four years disappeared almost completely. My toe, which was noticeably swollen, is not any more. And it doesn't hurt for me to write with a pencil or open cans (it's incredible how much we use our thumbs).

As I mentioned on my blog a couple weeks ago, in preparation for my surgery I was required to go off all my supplements. My knee was feeling about 95% well and I was already beginning to waffle on the need for surgery. Then... I started to hurt again. Not just my knee, which didn't "hurt" exactly but felt off a little, but my thumb joint as well.

It made me think. Could it be that the more major surgery he'd recommended -- the one where he would be drilling into my bone to stimulate cartilage growth (that may or may not work) wasn't necessary? Was it possible that my body was starting to heal itself? Could it be that most of my pain was due to arthritis (which he said I have in my knee)?

Was I being foolish to even think of canceling / postponing the surgery? I wanted some different opinions from the people who care about me the most and who would be vested in seeing me feel better. I talked to my husband and my mother.

My husband is an IT guy. He thinks with his head and isn't really into what he calls "the woo-woo stuff". But when I asked him his thoughts he surprised the heck out of my by saying, "Surgery is always a last option. I fully believe that there isn't much in our bodies that can't be healed by proper diet and exercise." And he reminded me that I could always reschedule the surgery if it became clear that my way wasn't working.

My mom, who is more into "the woo-woo stuff", and has successfully kept rheumatoid arthritis symptoms at bay for going on twenty years now without prescription medicine (something doctors never believe when she tells them, so they retest her every few years because they think she'd be crippled by now if she had it and wasn't treating it their way) said basically the same thing.

On Wednesday, the day before my pre-op appointment, I called in and canceled everything. And I restarted my supplements. It's been four days since that occurred, and as of this morning my knee is feeling almost back to where it was before. My thumb only aches a little and I'm able to use it at 100% again as well.

Some people would say it's all in my head. Maybe. But even if it is, if I feel better.... who cares? I think it's nutritional, though. And I have every confidence that over the next couple of months I'll be back at 100%.

And that's the rest of the story.

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You Are Deep

You like to have fun, but you aren't a big fan of frivolity. You object to too much silliness. You are quite intellectual and thoughtful. You get a lot of satisfaction from doing important work. You are steady and consistent. You find it easy to commit to projects and people. You don't let your emotions decide for you. You follow your head, not your heart.

What Does Your Least Favorite Color Say About You?

Well, that's spot on. And again, that freaks me out a little...

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Surgery

The only way to keep your health is to eat what you don't want, drink what you don't like, and do what you'd druther not. ~Mark Twain

I scheduled my knee surgery yesterday - January 26th. I can't begin to express how much I'm dreading having it done. Not only am I worried about general anesthesia (I know, I know 99.9% of the time all is well ... but what if I'm the 0.01%??), but the recovery time sucks (depending on whether he's going to drill into the right side of my knee or not, I'm looking at up to two weeks with NO weight bearing), and the whole thing is just incredibly inconvenient.

I suppose partly it's because I don't like being dependent on anyone, and I'll have to be. My entire house is stairs. The shower and bed is upstairs, the washer and dryer is in the basement. Yes, I'll have crutches, but ... crutches on the stairs? I won't be able to drive for a while ... ugh.

Maybe my knee will miraculously heal in the next five weeks.

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Thanks for your input yesterday. I am just moving forward on the story and seeing how it goes. Once it's been beta read, I'll use that input to hopefully layer in my world-building as needed.

For now, I've changed the wallpaper on my desktop to reflect the story and am moving forward a little every day.


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You Are Two Turtle Doves

For you, the holidays are a time for family, friends, and most importantly, the person you love. You like to use this time of year to express your gratitude, admiration, and affection. Your holiday wish is more love for everyone. You believe there's too much hate in the world. You try to be easy on people, especially during the holidays. You try your best to keep the peace.

Which of the 12 Days of Christmas Are You?

Hmm... about 75/25

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Art and Arfs

Artists can color the sky red because they know it's blue. Those of us who aren't artists must color things the way they really are or people might think we're stupid. ~Jules Feiffer

The art show was a little bit of a letdown this year -- they only put items out on the first floor and, while ALL of DD's stuff was shown (as opposed to last time when only two were up), there wasn't a lot to see.

We got there really early and ended up getting in and out almost before the show officially began, which was good, because by the time we left, the little art center was PACKED like a can of sardines.

In any case, and without further ado, here are DD's pieces of art.

Her barn (which was the first thing they did, and which she hurried through -- I think she learned her lesson, though, because her other items were fabulous):



This painting of fruit really looks amazing. While it's not perfect, you can really see her effort in the shiny spots on the fruit, etc. I was impressed:



Lastly, her glass mosaic. She was the only one in her class unafraid to grind class, so she did it for everyone (and has the nicks to prove it!):



In any case, we were able to get there, look at everything and still get to beginning agility on time.

Agility this week was a little crazy, though (Is there a full moon? New moon? Planets aligned funky?). We had dog fights both nights. Weds, the little Yorkie with aggression issues was grouchier than usual. I wasn't running in the class (my knee is not doing well ... another story for another day) so, I was in charge. I just love him to death, I really do, which is a good thing.

There was one run, though, that really just entailed taking very few steps and sending the dog out, so I decided to try it. DD sat down next to the Yorkie's mom (well, aunt really -- her sister hasn't been able to come lately), and when Dakota's run was over, she called her.

Bad idea.

Though this Yorkie doesn't mind Dakota for the most part, THIS time Dakota stepped on him and it set him off. DD threw her hand down in between them to keep Dakota from being bitten and got bitten herself. No blood, but her hand is bruised and he broke the skin. HOWEVER, before anyone gets up in arms -- she wasn't badly hurt, and was more concerned for the dogs. After class, she even gave the Yorkie lots of love... because he's reactive (was attacked BADLY by dogs as a puppy), but always has so much remorse afterward and would never intentionally bite a human. He's a work in progress... and we love to work with him. Besides, if DD decides to work with dogs as a career (and right now, that's in the running for certain) she's going to get bitten.

Last night, we have two dogs who are both there to get over their issues with other dogs. Unfortunately, one of them got away from her owner and ... of course... went charging over to the other one who had spent the class barking at her. I guess she'd just had it. I was closest, so leaped up, pulled them apart and then stood between them (her owner had her leash by now). Neither dog was hurt, just slobbered on, but we really don't usually have this many problems.

We won't talk about how I hurt my knee again. I jumped up without thinking. It's instinctive to try to keep the dogs safe.

Never a dull moment. And, I'm just praying my knee holds out for the next three weeks...

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I'm obscenely behind on visiting blogs ... I feel like I say that all the time, but I have such a strong desire to visit with you all. I hate missing. I'm gonna give it the old college try today (the plan is to stay home ALL DAY). Of course, DH is home and sick (he has a wicked cold), so who knows what the day may bring.

Please know I'm thinking of y'all!

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You Are a Perfectionist

You can see the big picture, but you sometimes find it overwhelming. You need to break things down into small chunks. You act quickly but not impulsively. You think through your actions, even if only briefly. You are a big dreamer. Your head is in the clouds with your latest scheme, and it's sometimes difficult to get you back down to earth. You are content and harmonious. You've made your peace with the world.

The Soap Bubble Test

Hmmm.... about 75% corrrect (the last is wrong, sadly).

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Following Up

All changes, even the most longed for, have their melancholy; for what we leave behind us is a part of ourselves; we must die to one life before we can enter another. ~Anatole France

Long day yesterday, but productive.

We went to the school -- there was one other couple with two kids (4 & 5 y.o.), and a grandmother who came (she's raising her granddaughter) who were there as well. I won't go into all the details, but suffice it to say we were very excited about the opportunities there. It's a very small school -- we went to three different in-session classes and there were 8 kids in one, 10 in one and 6 in the other. The paperwork says they have an average of 1:10 teacher/student ratio.

Technologically, they're pretty amazing, too. There's a full science lab (even has a safety shower), a cafeteria/auditorium and the school is locked down while it's in session (we had to ring to get in).

Loved the people, enjoyed the students we talked to. And, speaking of students, here's an interesting tidbit: the high school student we talked to told us his story (from the Congo, father assassinated, etc). He was just an amazing kid, happy and enthusiastic...he practically glowed. After we gabbed for a bit, he went back to class and one of the people taking us through mentioned that he was there on financial aid, that his mother worked three jobs to support her five boys and that dance was something that unified the family. He said that the mother was a huge fan of "Dancing With the Stars" and that the boys wrote in to see if they could sit in the audience one night as a gift to their mom. Instead, it turned out to be a little more -- those of you who watch DWTS may remember the Mwano family:



In any case, DD liked the school, I liked the school, we were both excited about it (and since we'd started out VERY apprehensive, I figured that was a good sign), so we're going to start the application process for next year.

A big change it is a-coming...

Then it was off to the orthopedic surgeon to discuss the MRI results on my knee.

In a nutshell: I need surgery and my knee is wonkier than I thought!

On one side I have a meniscus tear -- not a bad one, and easily fixed. On the other side I have indications that I injured my knee as some point (who knows? I was ridiculously active as a kid) and there's a cartilage problem there that needs help, too (this one's a little more complicated... they're going to try something simple first, but if it doesn't work then it gets gradually more and more difficult and invasive -- I'm figuring the first surgery will do the trick). The pain I feel is from the ligament tear, the "catching" I have is from the problem on the other side.

And then to top it all off, my kneecap is lopsided and off center and has been rubbing where it shouldn't and so has wrecked the cartilage in one spot so it's bone-on-bone (I asked, "Is that the grinding/squeaking noise I hear?" - "Yep.") and it leading to a lovely case of arthritis. On this, he says there's not much I can do (I figure he meant "surgically" because I'm looking into homeopathic arthritis remedies).

All of this means a few things... I'll be having surgery (probably in January -- don't want to be unable to drive and/or on crutches at Christmas) for the two problems. It also means I MUST drop about 15 - 20 lbs to take some of the stress off my joints and it means I have to "baby" my knees more than I do. No high impact exercise, no carrying heavy loads up and down stairs, etc.

Seriously sucks. But it's better than not having a knee (ala "I cried because I had no shoes until I met a man who had no feet").

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You Are a Home & Garden

You are a total homebody who loves to create things. You're very handy. You're always cooking something new in the kitchen or making up a funky new craft. Your home is your castle, and you are always looking for more inspiration. Your place probably doesn't look like those in home and garden magazines... it looks more unique!

What Kind of Magazine Are You?

About 50/50 ...

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Knees and NaNo

Writing only leads to more writing. - Colette

I finally went to the orthopedic doctor yesterday about my knee (yes, I am still having troubles). He's not sure what's wrong so has me scheduled for an MRI next week. Seven minutes in a metal tube. Whee.

Being the up front kinda gal I am, I told the doc right off that I don't really like conventional doctors, that I don't take prescriptions meds and that if he says I need surgery, he'd have to prove that nothing else would work and that surgery would fix the problem.

Yeah, I'm a little stubborn. But I also think conventional medicine tends to slap a band-aid (AKA prescription drugs) on symptoms instead of looking for the deeper issue and that drugs only tend to make things worse. Blame it on my mom whose had Rheumatoid Arthritis for 15 years and doesn't take meds for it (and isn't crippled by it).

Anyway, I'll keep you posted.

On the writing front, I'm slowly falling more and more behind... but I had a brainstorm today that should help a little. Part of my problem is that the story just isn't light-hearted enough. I don't expect it to be slapstick comedy, but it should be at least a little funny. And, I got to thinking that I gave Liv an unconventional mentor in "One Love For Liv", so I wanted to give Geoff one, too. He's about to meet his, but won't realize that the guy is wicked wise for a bit -- because he won't appear to be. Emmy helps open his eyes.

I love Emmy.

I also used another one of your challenge objects today:

She spun around, holding an antique magnifying glass to her eye, making it appear three times as huge and twice as green as the other. “Hey, you’re even more handsome close up!” (Brandy)

And I've decided that every scene needs to include a reference or an appearance of a particular item. Not saying WHAT -- that'll be for you to figure out once it's published. *G*

So, even though I'm 4000 words behind, I'm still motivated. And all I have to do is write at least 2000 words a day for the next couple of weeks and I'll be good.

Yep.... that's "all".

:-P

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You Are an Extrovert

You are honest and comfortable in your own skin. You don't show off, but you never hide who you are either. You like to weigh all of your options before making a decision. You are apt to look for a compromise. You are responsible and determined to do the right thing. There is often a lot on your plate, but you handle it all well. You rely on yourself first and foremost. You know that you won't ever let yourself down.

The House Oracle

Though I don't really think of myself as an extrovert, I'll take their word for it. The rest though? Pretty close...

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Words, Wonderful Words

"The task of a writer consists of being able to make something out of an idea." - Thomas Mann

Things are moving quickly on NaNo right now -- but that's only because I'm working on what I had plotted already. I'm rapidly reaching the spot where it's anyone's guess what will happen. Still, I'm glad I'm getting a little ahead.

Thanks to the folks who gave me words (and two of you who gave me other ideas! Lamancha goats and foot fetishes... hmmm...).

Here's what I had:

cornucopia (from Dru)
Exasperate (from Brandy)
rambunctious or rigmarole (from Maria)
flaunt, consternation (from Anno)
extemporaneous (from Ceri)
plethora, dearth (from Groovy)

And so far I've used two:

How had he managed to lose touch with the plethora of people who had mattered so deeply only a few years ago?

Less than a minute and the girl had managed to exasperate Geoff.

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In other news, my knee went out for no apparent reason yesterday. Once again it had been feeling just fine and dandy and then ... WHAMMO... I couldn't walk. So, I'm finally breaking down and calling the doctor.

I hate doctors. I'm also not particularly fond of having a body that appears to be breaking down already. I'm not THAT old. Sheesh.

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You Are an Overachiever

Good for you! You believe you can do anything, and you just go for it. Like everyone else in this world, you have limitations... but you don't let them slow you down. At times you can be a bit of a perfectionist. Remember to be easy on yourself. You don't have to be perfect as long as you're doing your best!

Are You an Overachiever or Underachiever?

Yeah ... well, I didn't need a quiz to tell me that.

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I Haz a Sleepie

How do people go to sleep? I'm afraid I've lost the knack. I might try busting myself smartly over the temple with the night-light. ~ Dorothy Parker



I'm so full of tired, I never quite feel rested. I made myself stay in bed today until 6:30 (even though I was pretty much awake at 5:00) trying to replenish my energy stores. It's frustrating.

In any case, it looks like today might be pretty darn nice. It's COLD but there isn't any wind (like yesterday...brrrr) and the sun is shining. DD really, REALLY wants to go back to the fair, but I just don't think my knee is up to it. Breaks my heart. I'd really like to take her. Wish there was someone else here who could (and would).

We have a HUGE pile o' wood to split as well, and I need to be able to help my DH with that as much as possible, both splitting (yes, I can use a maul) and stacking. THEN, we have more trees to take down for next year's wood at my SIL's house, which is MORE cutting and stacking. I have to be as physically sound as possible for that.

We got a very light frost last night, so I need to decide TODAY whether I'm going to take in all the little tomato plants around my house (I found a pile more over by my chimney ... it's cracking me up. Poor chipmunk is going to wonder what happened to all his winter stores). I'll need to buy a grow light if I do, and then remember to pollinate them, but it would be VERY nice to have homegrown tomatoes through the winter. In fact, maybe I'll grow a few other things like spinach and chard...

And, yes... I'm terribly behind on blog visits. I feel awful -- but I've been buried in LASR/WC/Goddess Fish work that all has a due date of yesterday. I've managed to come by to a few blogs, and will try to get to a few more today. My Google Reader numbers are downright scary, though. Oy.

Hope everyone has a fabulous Sunday!

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You Are Fiery

You are an animated person, and you love to talk. You are naturally outgoing. You are drawn to drama and intensity. Life can be incredibly poignant for you. You are a thrilling person to know. You like to take a walk on the wild side, and you convince your friends to join you. You are quick to act and sometimes quick tempered. You can be quite stormy at times.

The Changing Leaves Test

That's about 75% right (HEY... I'm half Portuguese -- we're loud and animated).

Knees and Rain and Grogs... oh my

The only sure thing about luck is that it will change. ~Wilson Mizner

Thanks for all your well-wishes yesterday. Today, I'm going to get a knee brace (thanks, Charity) and I think that should make me well enough to go to the fair (as long as I'm not stupid). Of course, now they're calling for rain on both Thursday and Friday (the days we go because it's not so busy). I swear, if it's not one thing, it's another!

In other news, a couple months ago, I was contacted by Marianne Stephens about a group blog (grog?) she was starting that would be populated by authors named Marianne (and every variant thereof). She asked if I'd like to join -- I'd only have to blog once a month.

I decided to go for it. The blog -- called All Day, All Night officially starts on October 1st and we're running a contest starting now through the end of October (it includes Godiva Chocolate, so how can you go wrong?). All you have to do is follow us to get an entry -- though comments on the posts through October give you more. I'll be blogging on the eleventh every month. Wish me luck!

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You Should Stay Away From Brown

You are a worldly and cosmopolitan person. You consider yourself openminded and nonjudgmental. You are very witty, and you're willing to make light of anything. You are proud of your sense of humor. The color brown sometimes represents a lack of sophistication and humor. What a bummer! Brown can also be a heavy color, and you're just too light hearted for its weight.

What Color Should You Stay Away From?

I actually like brown, that rich, chocolate brown ... I have several items of clothing in that color. Uh oh. ;-)